Thursday, January 18, 2007

An Open Letter to Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters,

Hi guys, just a quick note to see if you are all okay. I am concerned because I just saw an email promoting these. Did you realize that you were selling neon teal skinny jeans? Since it is not the 80's, I have to assume that this is related to some sort of malicious plan to destroy America via ugly denim. The hipster thing was bad enough, now you really have gone too far.

I can say this because I myself am a survivor of the Wet-Seal colored jeans with matching shirt epidemic. My favorite pair were bubblegum pink bongos in size zero. I weighed about 90 pounds back then and those terrible jeans somehow managed to make me look hippy. Those were dark blinding days. Let's not go back.

Best,

Emily

7 comments:

nicole c said...

absolutely hilarious

Sara said...

haha, Bongo Jeans!!!! ah those were the days.

love.boxes said...

I hate hipster jeans. When I was in the mall at Christmas with my sister and this person in the mall walk bent down to pick up a dime and completely mooned us. I started to laugh, I couln't help it, if pants don't even cover your bum, what's the point. My younger sister, however, was quite sober. She attends HS and she said, "I have seen quite enough of that!"

As for those teal things, maybe they would be alright with the right thing on a 90 pound person, but the person who will really love them and want them will not weigh 90 pounds and they will insist upon wearing them really tight with a t-shirt that is too short. This will be awful.

Make the world a more beautiful place, put waisted pants back in fashion.

MissEm said...

Hah! I call that "muffin top," the ridge of plump caused by low-rise jeans.

love.boxes said...

Yes. No More with the "Muffin Top!"

Margo said...

Wonderful letter!!! And this coming from the little sister who refused to wear pants/ jeans from the age of 2 through elementary school! :]

Elizabeth H. said...

There is just no need to bring thse jeans back. Thanks for being the voice of reason.