Drum roll please...My dermatologist has diagnosed me with a textbook case of Pityriasis Rosea (Good guess Meghann). It's a skin rash in a "Christmas tree" pattern from neck to thighs. It only itches in 25% of cases, lucky me. The exact cause isn't known, but it is supposed to be related to chicken pox. It isn't caused by an allergic reaction or fungus and it isn't contagious.
Here's the kicker: it can last up to 12 weeks and there is no real treatment. Avoiding heat, taking oatmeal baths and getting some sun can help. The only good news is that you usually only get it once.
I'm celebrating the diagnosis tonight with Nicole, Rob and two delicious-looking dungeness crabs. I just found out that the fish counter will clean and crack the crabs for free.
(Note: I just discovered that Pityriasis Rosea is latin for "pink wheat bran." SICK.)