Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Stress and How it Can Benefit You

One of the best things I've learned from wedding planning is the power of fighting stress or disappointment with doing something nice for someone else.

Today, a minor incident has my blood pressure on the rise. The latest in the series of volunteers for the club emailed me about sending the final paperwork. During this, I mentioned that we're set to bring in pizza on Friday for a casual "rehearsal dinner" that will include the show participants seeing the stage, etc.

The original volunteer was the one who proposed this...ever since, each time I mention it to the latest volunteer they say that it can't possibly happen and my head explodes. Once I explain it, they're on board...until the next volunteer comes around. It happened again today and has me explaining, stressing and thinking of contingency plans all over again. Barf.

So, a random act of kindness is needed. I've picked a number, the person who is that number in the comments will receive a special little gift from me. I'll make it custom to the recipient. Comment away!

71 comments:

rcpeters said...

1

Amanda said...

2 :)

MissEm said...

Hey! a) You don't qualify for the contest honey b) I shower you with random acts of kindness all the time c) should have at least tried to butter me up with some flattery ;)

Allison said...

Great idea.

marian said...

you're so sweet! I guess I'm 4... or perhaps with amanda's "disqualification" #3?

Rose said...

Aw, I remember those stressful days (not so) fondly! I got married last year and it's funny how a bunch of little things add up to a big deal. Keep your head up and your blood pressure down :)

-Rose

MissEm said...

Sorry, it's not Amanda who's disqualified...it's my sweet fiance who came in as #1.

andrea said...

perhaps have some yummy homemade butter/basil/bread. butter always seems to make me forget about my woes.

Stacy said...

What a benevolent way to run your life! What a nice opportunity for lurkers like me.xo

I hope it works.

MissScientistSF said...

Well.. if it will make you feel better. :)

Don't stress, your wedding is going to be wonderful and such a blast. They just can't handle your awesomeness, that's all.

I am stressing about a presentation tomorrow, if that makes you feel better!

veronica said...

i'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed.

you have made me fall in love with the city again. as an angeleno transplant originally from northern california (santa cruz), i read your blog every day and come up with more and more reasons to move back.

so, thank you. maybe we'll be neighbors one day.

runtexasrun said...

Great idea - but shouldn't we get you something so you can relieve your stress?

Cara said...

stupid volunteers :)

logan said...

This is a fantastic idea. I wish I were as nice as you when stressed out. Good luck!

Kim said...

What a lovely idea for a contest! What if a reader wants to send YOU something? :-)

Kalli Ko said...

I lurk you all the time, I absolutely love your taste and great tips. You do have fabulous style! I'm excited to see your wedding photos!

Annie said...

I love that idea! I am going to try that the next time I am stressed- thank you for spreading the love :)

Rob and Carrie said...

Hang in there. It'll all be worth it!

Catherine said...

I would have commented even without the prize incentive ... this is the secret all of us in the inner city know. You can survive an unbelievable amount of grief on the strength of this principle alone.

Feel better soon!

E said...

i hate to profit off of your stress.... but i love your idea for turning a negative mindset around!

Shimmy Shake said...

Sorry about the stress, it is sweet of you to do a contest to relieve your stress. Hope it works!

purcellsays said...

you are so kind! I wish there were more emilys in the world!

Tasha said...

well if this isn't the cleverest idea ever! i'm IN! :)

so sorry for the latest drama! it will all work out. hang in there!

kristin @ the fairmount bride said...

a sweet idea, i love the sentiment. :)

Jill said...

what will they do when the pizza delivery boy just shows up? i hope it turns out!

Elizabeth said...

I think this is the best blog giveaway everh

Gracie73 said...

Hi...also a lurker here from Michigan. I read your blog everyday, especially Wedding Wednesdays!! I'm getting married in 3 weeks, 3 days. I too, have had my stress including the latest: Not one person from my Moms' family is coming to the wedding because there is a Cheeseburger Festival going on in Caseville, MI. They've had a year and a half of knowing the date and still...they are choosing to go to this Festival. No one will even bring my Grandfather downstate as he no longer drives. But you know what Emily? Your positive outlook on most everything inspires me to do the same and for that, I thank you. I know that the people who really love us will be there on 8.15.08 and I refuse to worry about something I can't change. Your wedding will be beautiful because you and Rob are beautiful people!! Cheers!! Oh..by the way...if you haven't gotten a ring pillow yet...go to BrooklynBride.com and check out her handmade ones. She made one for me and I love it!!!

me said...

Love your blog!

Kathryn said...

pick me, pick me, pick me...I've already had such a rough week and it's only Wednesday!

Adrienne said...

I'm sure 'winning' is long gone ;)

I still wanted to post though to tell you that it will be fine..perhaps don't mention it in the phone and just do it and explain it only one last time to the volunteer that is actually there? Do first, apologize later...should make for less stress!

Remember that it's all worth it and that you will make a beautiful bride!

Lauren said...

you are too sweet - i'm so glad i lurk around on your blog :)
hang in there - you seem to be handling all the wedding stress so well....and just think, it will all be over soon and you'll be married to your love!

Valerie said...

Don't stress! After the wedding is over, you won't even think anymore about all the little things that get you worried. You'll only remember all the great stuff.

paul said...

Nice way to relieve stress!

ashlynn said...

OOOh, good way to relieve stress!

Stephanie said...

I'll enter! Did you think you would get this many comments?! I hope the club will firm up your plans -- they should know people don't like constant changes in their wedding plans!

Lori said...

We lurkers loves us some free stuff!

Thanks, Emily.

The Illustrious Lindsay said...

I hope all of these kind words have helped soothe your frustrations. I don't know if this is new advice or not but I've found that if I get the person's name (esp if they're not a volunteer) and mention that name to the troublesome new volunteer it tends to ease some rigidity. Ex. "Well I talked to the manager, Betty Sue, about this last week and she gave me the go ahead already". Or if that fails, better to ask forgiveness than permission? Good luck, good luck!

Haley v. said...

Wish I could help!

Whits said...

I know how that stress thing goes with wedding planning. My invitations were letterpress and printed in completely the wrong color. Frustration. I had to take a breather. Thanks for the posts, I check back daily.

cyndi & lee said...

Don't let them get to you...they're just jealous they won't be invited to your gorgeous soirée!

Good luck and remember to just keep smiling...everything WILL work out like its supposed to and you'll have the wedding (and rehearsal!) of your dreams!

Kristin said...

You need to type up your story for the Friday night pizza, so that when the next volunteer freaks out about it (and there will likely be another volunteer!) you can just hand over the document.

It will all work out!

florence said...

i remembered how stressed out i was for my wedding. then on the actual day of the wedding i had so much fun and felt silly for getting so stressed :)

zeghsy said...

i should like to be done stressing about showcase now. and for other people to stop pushing me for things they don't really want (like critisism). it will get done when it gets done. i have other things that are a bit more important. *sigh* i'm so glad to be getting a (mini-)vacation just after showcase.

Jessica B. said...

I had the worst day...hope you picked my number.

kmcgovern13 said...

I'd be a happy recipient! And then take a day off of wedding-related planning. Only coffee, ice cream, yummy food and cocktails!

j'taimee said...

I like the way you de-stress, lady.

kelly said...

Wish I could be the one to bring the pizza to the rehersal, I would include a small pizza for those volunteers..you know what they say kill them with kindness!!

thanks for the giveaway and remember to just breathe!

laura said...

what a darling idea. just your "style"! Heyooooo!

Carolyn said...

I so enjoy reading your blog! I hope you picked number 49! :-)
Have a great day!

me said...

Haha, don't worry about sending me anything because your post already made my day!

I am in the same boat and annoyed with pretty much everyone in my life and the only way I could think to pull myself out of it was to make cupcakes for our interns last day.

The only thing that cheers me up is helping others. It was so great to hear that you are the same way!!

becky said...

I totally believe in giving to others when you're feeling the worst. I hope things brighten up for you soon! :)

LoveLola said...

this post has me calming down for day big day in october. paying it forward - i like it. best wishes!

katek said...

That is a brilliant idea. Also, I totally hear you about the head exploding. Agh.

T said...

I don't need any gifts - I just want to see how many comments you can get on one of your posts!

jill said...

hope we can make you feel better!

k8 said...

funny-i'm reading quantum wellness which is all about living a healthier life and she talks over and over about getting outside of yourself and serving others is a key to wellness. looks like you already knew that! you are going to be just fine miss em!

Amanda said...

Feel better, Miss Emily! Be gone, anti-pizza volunteers!

Janssen said...

wow, I wish everyone dealt with stress like you do.

blueiris315 said...

Such a kind and healthy way to deal with stress! Maybe implementing this strategy will help me get my own blood pressure down!

heather said...

How about 60? I am sorry you are having a tough time, but I promise, it WILL get better.
Hugs
Heather

Freckle-Face-Grace said...

What a wonderful idea!

Beth said...

feel better emily! your wedding and everything that goes with it will be fabulous :)

Emily J. said...

I just discovered your blog and have really been enjoying it, especially the "what to wear" parts. So I figured a contest is an especially good time to say that to you!

Victoria said...

I love this idea! From now on, every time I get anxious or someone upsets me, I'm going to remember to do something lovely and unexpected for someone else. Brilliant idea!

kaili said...

You're doing a great job of holding it together - oh the joys of dealing with volunteers...they're trying to help, it's clear, but it doesn't always jive with what you need.

Bonne chance!

Andie said...

Oh how i do hope you were picking "big" when you thought up your number! Crossing my fingers!

Alicia said...

Good luck - how frustrating to have explain over and over what you would like to do! I'm sure that it will all work out & the weekend will be great!
G

Smiling Mama said...

Oh I can't think of anything better than a personalized gift from you! And, what a great way to get some good karma to circle back to you :)

Yvi said...

I bet that's the post with the most comments ever.
If you want we can have a nice lunch together. Good food helps almost always ;-)

Meg said...

Not playing the game, it sounds like it's over anyway :) But! Wanted to pass along to you, what we were spesifically told when we looked at that venue: "The club is only allowed to have 2(I think) public events a month, according to the neighborhood association. If you choose to have a rehersal dinner here, that is fine, as long as it is quiet. BUT, if you TELL US that it is happening, we will have to tell you NO, because it would consitute a third public even for the month, which would get us shut down. So if you do it, don't tell us, and we'll just chalk it up to you setting up for the wedding."

So, I hope that helps. We were told more then once to NOT under any circumstances ask permission to have a friday night dinner there. Maybe you should stop asking, and prepare a apology, should it become a problem :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry for your stress. :-(